You never know if and when your kettle is going to boil over. She sat across from Henry on the city bus almost every day. Same time, same route, same rude behavior. Her phone would ring loud enough for the passengers on a passing bus to hear it and she’d always answer it; she spoke as if she were in her living room or the middle of an empty football field. Wouldn’t matter if he’d been on the back of the bus or the front of the bus, because everyone could hear her on her phone.

Some people acted like she wasn’t there and others just stared in her direction. She was oblivious; either she didn’t notice or she didn’t care or perhaps both. One day someone standing over her politely asked her to keep it down. She waved her hand as if to say, “If you don’t like it, don’t listen,” and then she crossed her legs and raised her voice. Henry knew that if they’d been in New York City, she’d have to shut up or be thrown off the bus. He hated that about Portland, the people were just too easily intimidated.

This went on for weeks and months until Henry couldn’t stand it anymore. He started waking up in the middle of the night hearing her voice and seeing her tiny little vacant eyes. Weeks prior, he’d gone to his supervisor to see if he could change his work schedule by 30 minutes, but it couldn’t be done. He’d thought about quitting his job; he thought about other alternatives that were even more drastic. One night Henry woke in a cold sweat as he pondered getting rid of her.

Just threatening her wouldn’t be enough. She’d bark back or ignore him. Henry could be confrontational, but most people just laughed at him or shrugged him off. He found himself pushing most exasperated thoughts back into the deep, dark corners of his deranged mind. But these intrusive thoughts kept resurfacing; each time clearer and more likely to be manifested. A recent break-up left him melancholy, bitter, and lonely; no one wanted to be with him.

The woman on the bus had to die and it had to look like an accident. Her death would provide the greatest satisfaction of Henry’s life. He wished he could take a survey of the bus passengers to see who would be happy to see her gone — he suspected all of them would cheer. He would have to be on the bus the day after the deed to see and hear the reactions of the other riders. Being there would complicate things just a bit, but the reward was too great to pass up.

He’d have to study her closely over the next few days; what did she do on a daily basis that left her vulnerable. She always had an iced coffee in her hand, she carried a shoulder bag, she wore heels, and she never let anything out of her sight. She entered the bus across the street from Joe To Go Coffee Shop and she got off the bus at SW 10th & Burnside; the busiest intersection in Portland.

His best bet was to poison her iced coffee, but how? And would it be enough to kill her? How could he get her to put it down long enough to do the deed? One morning he waited for her at Joe To Go. He watched as she ordered her coffee and waited for them to call her name. That was it, he’d cause a distraction at the shop after they called her name. He’d quickly grab her coffee, add the poison, and place it back on the counter.

The distraction would be easy. He’d plant a recording device near the counter with the sound of fireworks that would imitate gunshots and last about 30 seconds. Everyone would take cover and Henry would quickly poison her coffee.

He learned her name was Carla while waiting in the coffee shop. If Carla ran from the shop, he’d have to come up with Plan B or abandon the plan altogether.

AI generated photo. This is too much fun!

Henry could be very patient. He’d wait for the right day to add atropine to Carla’s iced coffee. He was able to purchase the atropine in Morocco a number of years ago. At the time it was for emergency purposes; a home invasion or his future mother-in-law. He was certain it would kill Carla and never be traced back to him.

The initial effects would cause Carla to hallucinate on the bus — now that would be something to see. If she stayed on the bus while the atropine was doing its job, she’d eventually pass out and die soon after. Everyone would get to watch her writhe and wretch. Henry became more and more excited as he imagined Carla’s demise.

Days before Henry was scheduled to fulfill his greatest act to date, he was called into his supervisor Jason’s office. Jason proceeded to relieve Henry of his duties. He was told budget cuts and downsizing were the reasons, but the truth was that his co-workers found his behavior to be off-putting. He left his office for the last time at 10:00 a.m., not seeing Carla on the bus during his ride home. His thoughts shifted away from Carla for the first time in weeks. It was Jason he was focused on now, but how would he settle the score.

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Weeks away from a trip to Warsaw and a bit of renewed perspective. Years ago I discovered that I need a dangling carrot. I consider it a reward for this and that; mostly that. No matter why or how, I need it soon.

Have a good day and don’t use your cell phone on a crowded bus.