A near miss that changed my life

I can still see the terror in her eyes. She was young, frightened, and eight months pregnant. I’m as guilty as anyone in that I take near misses for granted. But there is one thing that I will never take for granted and that is the night I came within inches of a head-on collision with a very pregnant woman.

My sister Debbie and I have always been close. Just one year apart and many domestic battles won and lost. We share 99.9% of the same chromosomes and a similar sense of humor. When we are breathing the same air and we find something funny, we laugh until snot covers our faces. This has always and will always be the way we are together. I honestly believe there is no other human who gets me the way she does. Trust is everything if you are to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Our defenses disappear when we are together.

It was a very rainy January night in North Carolina. I was home from University for the weekend and Debbie and I needed to get away from our annoying stepfather. His smoking and drinking was always extreme and our appetite for his nonsense on this particular evening was nil. Without knowing a thing about the impending weather, we ran out of the house and jumped into my Chevy Nova. The rain was heavy and it was chilly, but North Carolina temps rarely went below freezing. We were so pleased that we’d gotten away, we were giddy. “Where do you wanna go?” Debbie asked as she shook off the rain. I replied, “I need BBQ.”

Heavy rain battered the windshield; and the radio was turned way up. We drove on a long stretch of roadway known for speedsters. About halfway to the restaurant, the music was interrupted by an emergency announcement: a cold front was due to arrive at any moment and a deep freeze was expected. I had only arrived in North Carolina months before and I had never experienced a southern deep freeze. Debbie said, “I don’t think it will affect Salisbury. I’m sure it will be worse at the coast;” I shrugged it off.

What happened next was so surreal, I still can’t really wrap my head around it. Within seconds, everything froze. My car began to swerve and we laughed. Clearly others had heard the warning and stayed off the roads. I cannot recall having even an ounce of fear or concern (a problem when you’re young). Debbie seemed to take it in stride and it felt like a very slippery joyride. I recall pointing to frozen solid telephone lines and lampposts, amazed at how thick the ice was. We found ourselves in an unexpected and unwelcome winter wonderland; nearly gliding on the ice.

Debbie was so tickled by the circumstances, she screamed gleefully. Her laughter as always was contagious; so much so my belly hurt. Suddenly our silly joy was interrupted by a jolt; the car spun out of control. I tried turning the steering wheel to the left and right, with no luck; pressing the brake pedal only made it worse. We spun numerous times before finally finding ourselves headed in the wrong direction with a car coming straight for us. I panicked and Debbie screamed. We were not slowing down and I was certain we were going to have a head-on collision. I slammed on the brakes and we spun again, this time sliding inches away from the car we were headed for. I looked out and saw that there was a young woman slumped over in the driver´s seat. I got out of my car and tentatively approached her vehicle. I noticed she was draped over the steering wheel and weeping uncontrollably. I was concerned that she was hurt. I knocked on her window with my knuckles and she looked up. It was then that I noticed that she was extremely pregnant.

She opened her door, stepped out of her car and through her tears, asked if I was okay. I said, I’m fine, are you okay? She said she was okay, but admitted to being a bit shocked; she was shaking badly. I told her that my car had spun out of control and that we ended up on the wrong side of the road. She expressed her relief that we had not collided and I adamantly agreed. She told me that she was about eight months pregnant and on her way to pick up her husband from work. She had also not heard anything about the ice storm. This all happened way before cell phones. Being that the temps were below freezing and there were no other cars in sight, the only thing we could do was to get back in our cars and drive away slowly.

When I returned to my car my sister was sitting very still. When she finally spoke she asked if the other driver was okay. I told her everything and she started crying. The whole ordeal shook us to our core. I told her that we needed to head home and she nodded. I don’t like thinking about what could have happened, but that’s where my mind goes — perhaps that’s not a bad thing. I still don’t know for certain that she returned home safely; I certainly hope she did.

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My driving was never the same after this incident. I’m more careful about weather conditions, I’m more cautious behind the wheel, and my Uber app gets a lot of use. Oh, and I live in a place that never has ice or snow.

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Future Travel

A couple of short local trips to Spain and parts of the Algarve coming up soon; an Iceland cruise by way of Northern Europe in May; Oslo, Norway with Paco for all of July (with visits from friends throughout the month); a much anticipated trip to the Puglia region of Italy in the spring of 2025. The United States sometime in 2025 is likely: Brooklyn, Florida, Portland, Maine, Maryland, and North Carolina. I can now fly direct from Faro to Newark, thanks to a new United route. I booked a Mediterranean cruise for October 2025 — it sails from Tel Aviv, so it’s a bit uncertain. It includes parts of Turkey and Egypt I have not yet explored.

State-of-Mind

Do you ever have anxiety or tension and you have no idea why? I woke up distracted and detached on Sunday. I decided to go out on the terrace and clean up my plant beds — tearing out weeds, repotting, turning up soil; it cleared my head like nobody’s business. It was exactly what I needed to do in order to feel better.

I have a new laptop with a Portuguese keyboard, making blogging a slow and painful process. I thought if I wrote less I would be okay — didn´t happen; neither happened. Time.