The World’s Gone to Hell in a Handbasket (until now, I thought it was “henbasket”)
We all know about survivor’s guilt, something tragic happens to the other person and you’re guilt-ridden because it wasn’t you. This feeling can be debilitating and emotionally draining. Empathy is so strong for some of us, it prevents us from experiencing the joy we all deserve to feel.
What We See and Hear
Social media, television news, written media; 99% of it is negative and sensational. I’m not saying much of it isn’t true, but we all all know it is designed to spark interest, keep you riveted, and tap into your compassion for other human beings. What it also does is create a feeling of guilt and remorse. The heaviness we feel is created by this dark cloud of gloom and doom. It’s spiraling out of control and each of us has a responsibility to take back control. The alternative is far from desirable.
How We Process the World Around Us
When you look at news bites, it’s easy to see where racism, elitism, and nationalism lives. The amount of air time spent on Gaza versus a devastating flood in Kenya. The media is tapping into our darkest prejudices. It’s almost as if they’re telling us how to feel. I fight this internal battle daily: why do I care more about one tragedy over another? Why do I send money to some causes and ignore others? How do I change these deeply rooted biases?
It’s easy for me to understand my personal empathy toward gay youth or victims of domestic violence; when you have experienced it yourself, you hope that no one else will ever have to. However, we know that starvation is real even though you personally have never gone hungry for more than a few hours; we know that watching another human being die at the hands of a terrorist has to leave a person psychologically and emotionally damaged for life, and we know that a person seeking refuge in a place where every moment of one’s life is not spent worrying about personal safety, food security, and life-threatening illness, is valid and real; well most of us know. Where does concern for oneself end and compassion for others begin? I have a really hard time with the Kardashians deciding on a $300 pair of flip flops while children starve only miles away in Mexico. Is that anger a justification for my own complacency? There is no easy answer to these morality questions; however, we do have a responsibility to humanity and ourselves to at least try and make sense of it all.
Navigating the Future
I had to sleep on this one . . . for more than one night I’m afraid.
When I first heard friends saying, “I no longer watch the news,” it made me angry. I thought, how can you be so detached from the world around you? But now I understand why so many people feel this way. Putting aside disinformation, bias, unreliable sources, religious influence, polarization, etc. It is way too easy to be blanketed in negativity.
One of the things that travel accomplishes is the ability to see things for yourself. People throughout the world seek peace, harmony, and personal freedom. Governments, for the most part, have a different agenda; usually involving money and power. I don’t understand what motivates world leaders and I never will. I am not alone in my thoughts about this matter and what is happening all over the world is not new.
There is only one person you can truly protect and that is yourself. I have chosen to reside in a country where social democracy is the model for its citizenry. Although not perfect, it is more in line with my moral compass. If I’m going to be honest, I’m not sure perfect can ever exist where there are human beings. What empowers me is agency over my own life and the decisions I make.
Horrible atrocities will continue to take place around me each and every day. I am and will always be deeply affected by cruelty and unkindness. The best that I can do is to remain informed, be deliberate in my choices, give when I can give — when and where I can make a difference, and be kind to myself and others.
“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.“
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Future Travel
Lyon, France for Christmas, South Africa land & sea in February, and Oslo, Norway, July 2024. Finally, a visit to the Puglia region of Italy in the spring of 2025. The United States in 2025 is likely: Brooklyn, Florida, Portland, Maine, Maryland, and North Carolina. I know you may not see it, but this is a much lighter travel schedule than the past.
My Current State of Mind
I’ve been fighting a cold for the past week. It’s been 10 years since my last cold and I had forgotten how debilitating a cold can be. Unfortunately, health issues can mess with the mind and take you to dark places: death, heartache, pain, and almost always, the worst case scenario. I texted a neighbor to tell her that if I didn’t respond to a message after 10 hours, that she should key in. Dramatic or real? My worst fear is imagining Paco without food and water and having to defecate indoors.
The good news is that I am recovering. It’s easy to wallow in self-pity and try to wash away the suffering of others by bathing in substances that quell emotional discomfort. The purpose of this blog is to remind myself that tomorrow will be better than today; celebrating that change is where my focus should be. I cannot make the Israeli Palestine problem go away, but I can live my life with hope and joy, adding to a positive collective consciousness. I can experience the gift of life without beating myself up for being alive. As we remember the greatness of Rosaylnn Carter, the example she and Jimmy set of focusing on providing shelter with Habitat for Humanity, helps one to see that the donation of time, money and commitment toward a single cause can change the world. We need to also remember that before you give oxygen to the person beside you, you have to breathe in some for yourself — you can only help fix someone or something that is broken, when you yourself are repaired.
The holiday season is challenging for me; mostly anxiety linked to socializing. I want to be with others, but I cherish my alone time. I don’t think extroverts appreciate what introverts might be feeling. I’ve learned to set boundaries and be assertive. Still, there are just too many parties, dinners, and cocktails with friends for my comfort. I love the spirit of the season and the hope that it brings.
Please forgive any grammatical or typographical errors. Rereading my work is difficult for me. Thank you.
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