Wanderlust (often misspelled as wunderlust) is a strong, deep-rooted desire to travel, roam, and explore the world.
If you know me, you know that I spend way too much time analyzing my thoughts and how others react to me. Why am I anxious about this, why did she say that, should I speak to him about it? Overthink much? Sixty-seven years of manic thinking is exhausting and unnecessary, but it’s my reality. Lately, the subject of travel has occupied way too much of the space between my ears.
I’m sure many of you have experienced the following:
Airport and Airplane Angst
The business of arriving hours before a flight, sitting idle at the gate or spending way too much money for a cocktail, makes me crazy. I’ve actually done all that, was first on line for boarding and then refused boarding because there was an airplane change and the entire row of “C” seats no longer existed. It cost me over 1,200 euros to get home that day and I was not reimbursed a single penny. Now if that doesn’t make you want to stay at home, I’m not sure what would.
I don’t mean to be overly dramatic, however, it feels like every time I fly, I shave years off of my life. The baby crying for eight hours as we cross the Atlantic, the guy who smells like he dumped a bottle of cologne over his head at Duty Free, the woman sitting by the window who has to pee every 30 minutes, and the drinks cart that’s been slammed into my left shin three times on a single flight. One more thing before I leave this topic: whenever they announce quarterly profits for the major airlines, I lose my cool. These days you buy your ticket and then they nickel and dime you for everything from water to a seat on the airplane; then you learn they added billions to their coffers. Aren’t we all so pleased for them?
Hotel Room Regret
Have you ever checked into a hotel room and discovered the shower stall was designed for small children? You book the room on a site with photos of the rooms, listing different categories. You make sure you’ll have a decent size shower and what you get is a miniscule stall or a bathtub. You know asking for another room is out of the question, so you squeeze into the stall and proceed to wash only the upper half of your body because your arms can’t go further than your waistline. My favorite is when they have a sink big enough for a pig bath and a teeny tiny shower. Sometimes, this is the smallest of your grievances.
In Europe, you can count on two twin (or smaller) beds that are pushed together. God forbid you move in the middle of the night, you could end up on the floor or hanging on to the edge for dear life. Even better, when the bed is so soft you cannot move left or right or worse, when the sheets actually scratch your skin. I once had a hotel clerk tell me that it’s been proven that polyester is better for a good night’s sleep. I rest my case.
Travel Scams
Scams of all kinds exist everywhere. This is unfortunately a by-product of the digital world we live in. The problem with scams in another country is that you are unaware of their existence. For example ATM machine scams. There are multiple ways you can be cheated at the ATM machine, causing you angst whenever you dare to use one and of course, it would be difficult not to use one when you travel.
There are also credit card and debit card scams and that too is something to watch out for. And nowadays, nobody takes cash. You can’t use your credit card and you’re shit out of luck.
I’ve heard of people renting rooms or apartments online using various booking sites, only to arrive and learn that the booking was an on-line scam. You’re standing there with three suitcases and the apartment doesn’t exist. It’s really important to use a reliable booking site.
Unfortunately, the number of bad actors out there is only growing. Taking precautions and being hyper vigilant, are your only comforts.
Illness Abroad
I’m sure people ask themselves why they had to break their leg in Croatia or why Bronchitis welcomes you to Thailand? It seems inevitable that you will end up with some debilitating illness at some point in your travels. I remember missing a bus because of food poisoning in London. It’s a horrible feeling, elevated by your distance from home. How many trips have you had to cancel because you were either ill or a future illness was a strong possibility?
Irrational Fears Realized
You’ll know these fears: losing your passport, missing your flight, stranded with no battery life and no cash, no hotel rooms available after a flights been cancelled, a big fight with your travel partner in a foreign country, having your pet placed in quarantine at the airport, the wheel breaking on your bag as you walk the last mile to the airport; the list of possibilities is endless. How do you prepare? How do you respond? Will it prevent you from booking a flight? Will it kill you?
Joyful Moments and Memories
There have been moments while traveling when I thought that what I was experiencing was the height of visual stimulation. There are too many to name them. Or a meal that was transformative. I guess as I am typing these thoughts, I have found my answer: Yes, it is worth all of the aforementioned pain and suffering. Perhaps it is all of that angst that led me to that feeling of elation and awe when I’ve traveled. In summary, I guess I will travel until I can no longer travel, but perhaps, staying closer to home most of the time is the best plan.
“Travel is still the most intense mode of learning.” — Kevin Kelly
State-of-Mind
Loss is so fucking hard. It’s probably the loneliest form of suffering. Still, there is a reason they say, “That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I’m not even going to bother looking up who this pearl of wisdom came from. What does “stronger” mean?
Am I stronger? It’s difficult to say. One thing is for certain and that is that I can survive grief. I have lost both my parents, several siblings, close friends, and beloved pets and here I am. They are all a big part of my conscious thinking; my sense of self. They guide me and protect me. So in all of these ways, I guess I am stronger; certainly blessed with incredible memories.
I have been working on letting go for over 30 years. One has to believe change is possible even when it feels like you’re climbing Mt. Everest and the peak never seems any closer. I’ve decided that I’m not giving up.
“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”
— W.C. Fields
“It’s better to look back on life and say, ‘I can’t believe I did that,’ than to look back and say, ‘I wish I did that.’”
— Unknown
